I look out my studio window at a blue sky filled with fluffy
cotton ball shaped clouds. I am not thinking about the intense need California
has for some rain from these clouds. I am thinking about a post someone shared
on my Facebook feed last week.
It was from a girl out of my recent past who was commending
me for being a friend and how when we met she was in a tough point in her life.
She just wasn’t happy and more important she was just not thriving and pursuing
the things that brought her joy. The post continued to describe how meeting me
and getting to know me sharing with each other I helped her get in tune with
her truth and whom she really was. I accepted her for her quirks, faults, and uniqueness.
It truly was a kind hearted post that I believe came from a real genuine place of
gratitude.
At first, upon seeing the notification I figured it would be
a link to an interesting article, a funny post, or a diy project. In the back
of my mind, knowing how I feel about this person I hopefully imagined it would
be a post of a picture we had taken together that I loved, but at the same time
not thinking it could be that, but one could hope. When I was finally consumed
by the thought of what the post was I broke away from what I was doing to check
it out, I was more than surprised to see not only was it the exact picture, but
an extremely positive note that proclaimed me as the one for helping her get
back to enjoying life and thanking me for being a part of her life.
Being the type of person who has a time dealing with
complements, I had a hard time knowing how to respond. Seeing others commenting
on the picture was a bit of an ego boost for sure. So I took some time and
re-read what was written and it was something that made my day. I calculated
how to respond knowing how I did feel about her and wondering if this was that
moment one turns a friendship into something more? I responded in a reserved
manner, commenting on the picture, as the memory of that night came forth and thanked
for the kind words, a very blah and un-emotional response on my part.
I ended up texting her later that day with a more in-depth
response inviting her to meet up for coffee, like the first time we had met.
Only to have that text still not get a reply back to this moment. I don’t know
where I went wrong, or if I went wrong at all? Maybe I should have just called.
Either way she’s on my mind, this post is on my mind. Most of all, the thought
of or how I didn’t make the most of a moment, or whether that moment was really
a moment at all?
FIN
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...GO!!!
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