I am sure we all have something we are scared of and that we are vulnerable. Maybe even at one point, we've made believe that we weren't scared of said thing till we got exposed for it. In situations like this, we may have been better off confessing to it than letting ourselves get compromised within our base or core friends for faking it. To admit to others and us is something to be honored and is part of the test of a true man living at his edge, but you only bring dishonor onto yourself and create mistrust within your circle when you lie. I want to share how one fully lives at his edge without faking it in today's piece.
To better understand this concept, I have enlisted David Deida's expertise, author of the book The Way of the Superior Man, focusing on the lone chapter Know Your Real Edge and Don't Fake it. I have done several chapter reviews from this book, as I believe it is a good primer for any young man and thought-provoking material for the rest of us men of the age. I will leave a link HERE to my last Youtube chapter review. So let's get back into it.
In the example given at the top, a person has lied and been exposed to his inner circle. Here is a man not living at his edge and is faking it, which is detrimental to himself and the men around him who may trust and honor him as a friend or at any other relationship dynamic level. David Deida describes this "edge" like this...
"Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears."
I would describe this as settling for less, giving in to our fear, and letting it dictate how we react. I also don't think Mr. Deida is talking about fear or fears in the sense of one is fearful of heights, spiders, or commitment, but at the same time, each of those things can make us compromise and give in to avoid them if they in act fear in us. Yet, I think his intent when referring to "fear" is to make a more significant contribution to humankind, earning a higher income, earning money in a more creative, enjoyable way, or even shaping your livelihood style.
In this sense, you may not know the edge of your fears because you have deluded yourself into feeling not afraid or that you have no fear, but you'd be lying to yourself as according to Mr. Deida as all men are afraid unless they are entirely free. And in this deluded state, you may not sense it, but your friends will sense your fear if you don't, making you untrustworthy.
Some men know the feeling of their fear and never approach their edge. For example, choosing a job, they can do easily. Here a man chooses work he knows will never be challenged by as he is afraid he may get exposed for bettering himself.
When we look at it from that perspective, we can see how toeing your edge can be beneficial. Or how Mr. Deida puts it...
"Honor your edge. Honor your choices."
Or this statement here...
"A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn't aware of his fear."
And this is all-important because a man who knows his fear and still leans in living at his edge putting out his gift is more trustworthy and more inspiring than the fearful man hanging back in his comfort zone not experiencing his fear on a day to day level. What Mr. Deida is encouraging us to do live daily, facing our fears. A better way, which wraps this up this entire chapter significantly, is this...
"A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them. Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them."
In closing, I thank you for taking the time to read this piece; my hope is it gave you something to think about or even think about implementing in your life. So, for now, God bless, and I will see you on the flipside.
"Your edge is where you stop short, or where you compromise your fullest gift, and, instead, cater to your fears."
I would describe this as settling for less, giving in to our fear, and letting it dictate how we react. I also don't think Mr. Deida is talking about fear or fears in the sense of one is fearful of heights, spiders, or commitment, but at the same time, each of those things can make us compromise and give in to avoid them if they in act fear in us. Yet, I think his intent when referring to "fear" is to make a more significant contribution to humankind, earning a higher income, earning money in a more creative, enjoyable way, or even shaping your livelihood style.
In this sense, you may not know the edge of your fears because you have deluded yourself into feeling not afraid or that you have no fear, but you'd be lying to yourself as according to Mr. Deida as all men are afraid unless they are entirely free. And in this deluded state, you may not sense it, but your friends will sense your fear if you don't, making you untrustworthy.
Some men know the feeling of their fear and never approach their edge. For example, choosing a job, they can do easily. Here a man chooses work he knows will never be challenged by as he is afraid he may get exposed for bettering himself.
When we look at it from that perspective, we can see how toeing your edge can be beneficial. Or how Mr. Deida puts it...
"Honor your edge. Honor your choices."
Or this statement here...
"A fearful man who knows he is fearful is far more trustable than a fearful man who isn't aware of his fear."
And this is all-important because a man who knows his fear and still leans in living at his edge putting out his gift is more trustworthy and more inspiring than the fearful man hanging back in his comfort zone not experiencing his fear on a day to day level. What Mr. Deida is encouraging us to do live daily, facing our fears. A better way, which wraps this up this entire chapter significantly, is this...
"A free man is free to acknowledge his fears, without hiding them, or hiding from them. Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them."
In closing, I thank you for taking the time to read this piece; my hope is it gave you something to think about or even think about implementing in your life. So, for now, God bless, and I will see you on the flipside.
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