Long story cut short I got tested time and time again to see if I'd crack as students be they in the classroom, the hallway, lunchroom, locker room, or even on the playing field as I played sports, people would drop the N -word as I walked by I guess to see me react. And every time this happened I ignored it, I tried to take the high road like MLK and be persistent to get an education and do my thing, be me. Then one day 4 years deep, I'm a senior feeling everyone was cool with me during football practice running sprints working hard to keep every ones focus sharp by cheering everyone on to finish practice on a good note one of my teammates lets fly "Shut up nigger". I stopped in my tracks I was so stunned I didn't know what to do it was like my breath was cut off it all just came out of nowhere. The coaches got on me for stopping so I got focused in again and finished practice running as hard as I could. The frustration of 4 years dealing with the bull shit from ignorant Mexicans and whites in my head all I wanted to do was smash that mutha fuckers head in for always fucking with me.
Practice ended and we were to report back dressed in game jerseys for team pictures and walking to my locker to get my gear I lost it, I cried. Some of the coaches I was cool with I guess either saw what happened or wondered why I was leaving the field and not going to the locker room tried to stop me, but I wasn't hearing it there was only one other time in attending Orland High that I felt so alone. I made it back for the team photos not saying anything to anyone about it.
A few days later the Head Coach stopped me and asked me what was up and would not let me leave unless I told him what was up, so I did. Nothing happened no apology nothing, not a fucking god damn thing. Later in the next week one of the coaches (Mr. Coil) who tried to stop me confronted me as he found out what went down and put it to me that I should have trusted him and confided in him cause come to find out he had my back while the Head Coach, a real prick and his prick steroid band of losers from Texas didn't. Mr. Coil even went as far as to put it to me in relation to what Jackie Robinson the first black baseball player had to go through. As I found out Jackie Robinson had to agree that for the first few years of his contract, if he wanted to play for the Brooklyn Dodgers, when confronted with racial comments he had to just take it and if he retaliated he was gone. Imagine that, and think about the era everyone hated blacks. Jackie Robinson along with Martin Luther King became my role models on another level that no one could touch. I tell this story because in the news we have another white person in this case Dr. Laura running off at the mouth using the N-word. Check the video below.
OK, whatever the case fuck her apology and fuck her talking about a double standard alright. You would think from my experience I'd be totally against her and shit, but my real outrage is she knew fucking better and in a moment of who knows what shes gonna let the N-word fly. Come on, shes' an educated woman with a radio show with 9 million listeners and I'd believe a great deal of those people who listen do as she does, buy what she promotes, and takes her advice. So because HBO has comedians who use the N-word in their comedy or again HBO TV shows have characters using the N-word does it make it right? I mean come on, if comedians on HBO were jumping off the Empire State building would she be jumping to?
And on her point of being "ultra sensitive" as she accused the caller of being, damn that's cold in the sense that no one can or should tell you how to feel. And fuck her trying to be "philosophical" you ain't Socrates. Needless to say I'm no fan of the bitch, I'll say this in a broad generalization, white people always want to prove their "openmidedness" by the number of non white friends they have or in this case black friends, but to me its more like this no matter how annoying or in your face your black friend is to you at what point do you drop the N-word on them? I mean fucking annoying, talking shit about you and everything? And if you can honestly say that you'd never drop the N-word on em' your quality folks you see people as people not skin color or race. The N-word is so... well just not cool in my eyes I don't use it, a lot of blacks do amongst themselves, at this point in my life I am so focused on shinning on my haters so they can get a better view of me getting mine and if you are about getting yours LETS GET IT!!!
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