Well, to tell what sets me from the crowd is a talent that has been with me my whole life. I say that to say this, I know at one point in my life I thought that sports would be that one thing having dreams of playing pro ball, be it basketball or baseball as the options would have it. Yet as I began to reach the age where a goal like that would be followed by substantial in-game performances and scouts flocking to my games, I realized that wouldn't be it.
As an African American in a small town of high school age set me outside of the crowd, but not in the way that one feels confident in their skin more like I wasn't wanted. I was once told I should go back where I came from, which came from a person which I thought was a friend, and maybe I was playing around with her too much, but that statement stung and changed the way I viewed her and the remaining years in Orland, Ca.
Still at that age, another thing that set me apart from the crowd the fact that I ended up in a car accident where I lost my friend and ended up a quad. Setting me apart from the group now with a disability, I was unable to do the things I'd liked. Going anywhere was s a question of is it accessible. To even how am I going to get there as without an accessible vehicle. I need to schedule a ride that is not really even the worst of it as entirely being dependent on someone else I am left to their ability to show up and fulfill the needs I need to start my day.
I have found myself at times wondering how I got here, and I know, I am always fearful that the thing that makes me feel joy, feel acknowledgment will be left to perish, as I must rely on someone else to get to that point to do what I do so naturally. That thing is my ability to draw. My Mother was the first to see that and helped foster that in me at a young age. Growing up, I would get requests from people on what they wanted me to draw on their book covers or binders or whatever. There was a time when drawing on clothing like jeans, t-shirts, and hats were the craze making me a few dollars here and there. The ability to bring and be creative even got me the girl.
I remember at a summer camp something we did over the summers somewhat regularly through the years leading up to high school. I was a campground up in the Lassen Mountains with cabins and dorms for guests. Boys on one-side girls on the other. This was a church style camp, but when you are that age, you are curious, so you better keep the genders separate. The first day everyone arrived and sign up for cabins and see the scheduled list of festivities for the week. Teams are formed, and games are played for a team prize that has the most accumulated points over the week.
It happened that we were on the same team and whether she saw me first or I her, I couldn't tell you, but in some way or another, I became a team captain and helped come up with our name and team logo. In developing our logo, I was working on a doodle as names and nicknames were passed around. I sat at a campground table with the team crowded around me and periodically would look up to see her standing directly in front of me, watching every stroke of my pencil. I then realized I had a talent, which had always been with me from a kid setting me apart from the crowd.
That experience emboldens me. As for the rest of the camp stay, I had a great time. I recently, sparked by this piece, thought about her and how she maybe after all these years later, I found her with an easy Facebook search. She looked the same; older, of course, married with kids. It's weird to think that because I could draw, it attracted her, but it did.
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